The Most Oddly Shaped Baby Bumps

Gather ’round. We are about to take a fun look at the perky, tiny, rotund, lopsided, obtuse, and yet somehow always perfect “baby ʙᴜᴍᴘ”.

When it comes to baby ʙᴜᴍᴘs, there are big, small,  high,  low, loose, tight, and downright funky.  “Women come in all different shapes and sizes, and carry differently depending on a number of factors,” says Jessica Kiley, MD, associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern Feinberg School of Mᴇᴅɪᴄɪɴᴇ.

If this is your first pregnancy, for example, it may take a little longer for your ᴜᴛᴇʀᴜs to move up and out of your ᴘᴇʟᴠɪs. Sometimes these baby bellies present as small, tight mounds, with almost no accumulation of fat around the ʙᴜᴍᴘ. During subsequent pregnancies, “the abdominal wall has greater laxity, allowing women to show sooner,” Dr. Kiley says.

A woman’s level of fitness and abdominal strength may also factor into the shape of her belly. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean two super-fit, skinny women will have miniature baby ʙᴜᴍᴘs.

Other factors can affect the size and appearance of a woman’s ʙᴜᴍᴘ. Dɪᴀsᴛᴀsɪs ʀᴇᴄᴛɪ is a condition where the left and right sides of the ʀᴇᴄᴛᴜs ᴀʙᴅᴏᴍᴇɴs ᴍᴜsᴄʟᴇs separate. Dr. Kiley explains that the separation of the ᴍᴜsᴄʟᴇs allows more space in the abdomen wall, and the ᴜᴛᴇʀᴜs may push out more, making the ʙᴜᴍᴘ appear larger. Throw in a B Belly ( where the profile of the baby ʙᴜᴍᴘ is sectioned off into two parts, resembling a letter B, and many moms start to wonder what’s normal and what’s not.

  1. POP! Goes The Woman

I don’t know the full story about this photo, other than I’m pretty sure somewhere around the corner Wile E. Coyote is lurking, his hand on an ACME ᴅᴇᴛᴏɴᴀᴛᴏʀ.

But, I digress. I found the image on a “multiples” page. While doctors say that being pregnant with triplets doesn’t necessarily mean you will gain triple the weight of a single pregnancy, they didn’t say that can’t happen. I think it might have happened here.

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During multiple pregnancies (and let’s assume this woman is pregnant with triplets) there are occasions when each ғᴇᴛᴜs develops separately in its own sᴀᴄ, with its own ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ sᴜᴘᴘʟʏ.  That right there is enough ғʟᴜɪᴅ to substantially increase the size of the baby ʙᴜᴍᴘ.

This is an impressive ʙᴜᴍᴘ. What I find even more striking is that with her skinny legs and bottom, she seems to still have enough of her pre-pregnancy physique to be donning her pre-pregnancy panties.

Rock on, Mama!

  1. Three Times A Lady

This pregnancy belly montage is everything. Where to begin?

When you Google “weird baby ʙᴜᴍᴘs” this image pops up more often than a non-napping toddler.

I can’t be certain what’s going on in this photo, but let’s try to break it down a bit.

First, everywhere I see it online, it’s shown in a triptych, so as if to better appreciate all the angles of this mom.  I’m not sure that photo paneling was done by the subject herself, or by an appreciative observer.

The first and third panels are profile shots, angled in so as to see each side of the mom’s belly.  In the photo at the left, Mom caresses her neck. In the frame on the right, Mom rests her hand on her belly. In both shots, Mom is wearing short, black socks.

The middle shot is a bit more of a direct head-on shot. For this, Mom shed her socks and has placed a confident hand on her hip.

She gazes directly into the lens as if to say,  “I got this, I can handle this. And if you’re gonna try and tell me triplets won’t fit in that Pac-N-Play, well, I don’t need that negative energy in my life!”

  1. Busting Out

If I didn’t know better, at first glance I would say this pregnancy selfy is a stock photo. The shot was taken in a trendy, soft, grey room, dark beams framing the space, with a cozy chair tucked into the back corner. The model sits crossed-leg, golden hair spilling over an open kimono.

Get closer. I mean, really get in there. Do you see the space under the mom’s black ʙʀᴀ? On the sides, her flesh is flat. The baby ʙᴜᴍᴘ is strictly relegated to a round, fleshy circle, which bears a striking resemblance to…dare I say it? A large breast. I said it.

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One reason for this style of the bump could be because this mom is tall and fit. When a mom is in better shape and has a long torso, the bump tends to sit higher and closer to the woman.

It’s all so pretty to look at. She’s done it- this woman has nailed pregnancy.

  1. A Six-Month No Show

And here comes fitness model Sarah Stage to blow all the baby ʙᴜᴍᴘ data to smithereens!

The internet star is shown here, at six months pregnant. No, really.

I would think that because it’s Stage’s second pregnancy, she would be showing by now. Second-time mothers show sooner, as their ᴜᴛᴇʀᴜs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʙᴅᴏᴍɪɴᴀʟ ᴍᴜsᴄʟᴇs have been stretched from an earlier pregnancy.

Perhaps the small size is because there is not much ғʟᴜɪᴅ around the baby? Or perhaps the baby is tucked around her rib care? Try as I might, I don’t see any signs of a pregnancy ʙᴜᴍᴘ.

Nevertheless, a short three months later, Stage gave birth to a 7 pound, 2 ounces, 19-inch long baby boy! No word on where she kept him hidden all that time.

5. Floating Shelf

This mom-to-be should be relaxed in her sweatshirt and star pants. But alas, she looks a bit uncomfortable with her furrowed, sweaty brow.

What’s that?  Oh yeah, I see it, too. Are you talking about the ᴇɴᴏʀᴍᴏᴜs shelf of baby flesh in front of her?

She could rest her dinner plate on her baby ʙᴜᴍᴘ! Or at least a cup of tea.

By the looks of it, this woman is carrying her child in a “B” shaped position,  instead of the conventional “D” shape. In the “D” posture, the baby is curled up in a ғᴇᴛᴀʟ position, its back facing the outside world. In a “B” posture, the baby is lying back to back with its mother, forcing legs and arms outwards. The baby ʙᴜᴍᴘ appears less smooth than normal, and more of an angular ʙᴜᴍᴘ of tangled limbs.

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My wish is that after this pic was snapped, the mom used that shelf to her advantage. I hope she had some pumpkin pie and caught a couple of zzzs.

6. All Gut, All Glory

I’m  5’2 1/2 inches tall (hey, every half inch counts!) When I was pregnant, my babies didn’t stay high and tight.  Both daughters spread everywhere, like Ghostbusters slime. My first daughter took up residence from my ʀɪʙ ᴄᴀɢᴇ to my pubic ʙᴏɴᴇ. My second daughter did her big sister one better and morphed into my back.  With both pregnancies, I generated new pockets of flesh around my thighs and my arms turned into plump cans of Pillsbury Cinnamon rolls, ready to blow.

The woman above looks to be about 5’7, a giant in my eyes. We are told that taller women have more space to contain a baby, and the proof is in this photo.

I have never seen a woman so visually unaffected by pregnancy as is this pretty peach of a thing. Besides her glorious baby ʙᴜᴍᴘ, she’s long and lean all over, so much so that if she was walking away from you, you might not even notice that she’s pregnant.

What’s that like?

  1. Squashing It!

We can all agree on one thing here–this woman’s baby looks like it’s trying to break free and make a run for it. There could be many reasons for this, as we know every woman is different, and the style and size of her bump are dependent on many factors. In this case, we are going to assume the mom-to-be is short.

In a short person, there is nowhere for the baby to go but out. With a shorter torso, there isn’t room for the baby to grow into the ribs, but the baby goes straight out, and down, often riding low into the hip area.

No telling how far along this petite woman is, or if she’s feeling uncomfortable at this point, but I would be interested in knowing if her boy or girl has an undeniably strong craving for what they looked like in the womb. In this case, I’m seeing spaghetti squash.

Article written by Baby Plumbing

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