Pregnancy is a roller coaster ride! When you’re limited to so many things, those 9 months may feel like an eternity. When your bulge takes precedence over everything else in your life and sleeps loss sets in, the last trimester may be a ᴘᴀɪɴ in the a**. Pregnant ladies are simply trying to get through this ᴘᴇʀɪᴏᴅ as ᴘᴀɪɴlessly as possible. Let’s look at the 10 things you’ve heard them say and what they actually imply.
- “I’ve Got A Birth Plan”
Ummm, I’m going to ask my doctor for a lot of medications so that the doctor can do anything he wants to pull the baby out while I’m numb and asleep. And no, Karen, the birthing CD you gave me didn’t help at all.
- “I’m Eating For Two”
You have no right to condemn me for eating this chocolate cake! What’s more, guess what? For the past six months, I’ve had to give up coffee, wine, soft cheese, sushi, and even roadside chaat. So pardon me while I eat my seventh slice of chocolate cake to drown my sᴏʀʀᴏᴡs.
- “Ahem Ahem…”
…Ahem ahem ahem. Pregnancy has turned me into a fᴀʀᴛ machine, and pretending to cough has become my favorite pastime while I’m out in public.
- “I’m So Excited For My Due Date”
Partly because I can’t wait to get this baby out so I can tie my own shoes, see my feet, and groom myself down there without having to rely on anybody else. Oh, and you won’t be ᴀfʀᴀɪᴅ to use the restroom any more.
- “I Haven’t Been Sleeping Well”
I haven’t gotten 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep in over a month. And if my spouse even suggests that my continual twisting and rolling is disturbing his sleep, I’m not above sending him to the clinic for a ᴠᴀsᴇᴄᴛᴏᴍʏ because I’m not doing this again. Or, better yet, I’ll use YouTube to show me how to make one at home. Don’t forget that I have a lot of free time on my hands.
- “Can You Please Guide Me To Your Bathroom?”
My bladder isn’t going to wait two minutes while I try to find a bathroom. Nobody wants to watch a 35-year-old lady ᴘᴇᴇing in her trousers, believe me. So, could you please hurry since I’ve already spent a minute and a half debating whether I should walk up to you and ask or make a fool of myself?
- “Yes, I’m Still With Child”
And, random lady in my neighborhood, thank you for your care. It’s been a while, I know. What’s more, guess what? That’s how long most pregnancies ᴇɴᴅᴜʀᴇ. And no, I’m not going to have extramarital affairs or consume spicy cuisine to hurry things up. Because my due date isn’t until the following month!
- “No, We Haven’t Decided On A Name Yet”
I don’t have the energy to get worked up over your disapproving expression when you hear my baby’s name. Or when you say you’ve heard that name before on a stripper or a serial ᴍᴜʀᴅᴇʀer.
- “Yes, You Can Touch My Belly”
What’s with this insatiable want to sᴛʀᴏᴋᴇ a pregnant woman’s stomach? Is it now public property that anyone may run their hands over now that I’m pregnant? But, unlike that random woman at the checkout, I’m happy you asked.
- “I’m So Excited To Be A Mom”
Unless you take thrilled to mean sᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ. I’m still waiting for my maternal instinct to come into play. I saw a baby at the park the other day, and I didn’t think it was cute. What if I have the same feelings towards my child? Oh, God, I’m going to be such a bad mother. I’ve never been a fan of babies. What if my own child ᴅᴇsᴘɪsᴇs me?
All joking aside, pregnancy is a lovely experience that women will remember for the rest of their lives. Also, our list isn’t meant to generalize all pregnant women; each pregnancy is different, and how one feels about it varies as well.
