Family should be your safe haven, the place you run to rather than away from. Let’s face it, though: there are instances when the individuals who ought to support you are instead the ones keeping you down in silence. Self-sacrifice is expected when favoritism becomes the norm, speaking up feels like betrayal, and the marks left by it are real even if they are not always apparent. How she grew up in the lengthy shadow of her sibling, who was referred to as the “golden kid.”
Who chose to remain anonymous.
My sister Jessica is two years younger than me. Growing up, I always felt like the odd one out in my own family, the “lesser” daughter. My mom constantly compared us, and in her eyes, Jessica was the golden child.
She was prettier, smarter, more talented… At least that’s what I was told, again and again. She got the best of everything: attention, clothes, praise. And I was expected to understand, to accept, to step aside.
Mom said college wasn’t for me, my sister had the better shot.
My mother didn’t even think twice about discussing college when the time came. She informed me that Jessica had “a better shot” nevertheless and that they couldn’t afford to send us both to school. That was it. No conversation. No regret.
I didn’t argue. I was already used to being overlooked. I’d been working since I was 16, saving every penny I could. I just wanted out.
So I moved out, worked even harder, and eventually earned a scholarship to a great college. I built my life piece by piece, alone. Over those eight years, my family barely checked in. Just the occasional birthday text. Not once did they ask if I was okay or proud of what I’d achieved.
Meanwhile, my sister got expelled, no job, nothing.
Jessica, however, spent all of her time partying and hopping from one romance to another, which led to her expulsion from university after two years. She wasn’t employed. She made no attempt. And as I struggled for every bit of freedom, she lived luxuriously in our parents’ home.
A few months ago, I finally bought a tiny studio apartment on the edge of the city. It wasn’t much, but it was mine. I was so proud. I told my parents, hoping, for a little warmth.
My mom’s response? “Just a studio? That neighborhood’s not great…” Not a single kind word.
Then yesterday, everything broke.
My parents want me to give up the apartment I worked 8 years for, because my sister needs it more.
Jessica is pregnant and “needs her own home to live with her boyfriend,” according to my mom, who called. I should also give my apartment to Jessica and move out since I don’t have a husband or kids. What was she thinking? “You can earn more money. Jessica is unable to because she is expecting a child.
I was stunned. And then I snapped. Years of swallowed pain poured out. I yelled, “No way! Maybe Jessica can finally try doing something with her life if she’s so smart and talented!” Then I hung up.
A few hours later, my dad sent me a message: “You shouldn’t be so selfish. Good sisters don’t abandon family in difficult moments.”
And that broke me. Because in all my difficult moments, when I worked two jobs, when I was sick and alone, when I had no one, not one of them was there for me.
The real shock came when I discovered an email from a lawyer.
The worst part, though? This morning, I got an email from a lawyer – hired by my own family. A list of the paperwork they need me to give Jessica in order to transfer the property rights is attached.
I feel shocked. Violated. Heartbroken. I don’t even know how to protect myself.
I don’t know how to say “no” in a way that they’ll hear. I feel like I’m being punished for trying to live a life on my own terms.
If anyone out there has been through something like this… How did you protect your peace without losing your soul?
