Mother reveals heartbreak of carrying triplets knowing that one of them had died – and the gift she gave her ‘angel baby’ so that she is ‘never alone.
A brave mother who endured half her triplet pregnancy knowing that one of her babies had died has revealed the touching gift she gave to her angel baby daughter.
Mum-of-one Kirsty Alexander was delighted to find that she was pregnant with triplets, especially as she struggled to conceive and her first child was born through IVF.
The 33-year-old from Kent didn’t plan on having three children with her husband John, 39, but she said she fell in love with all three as soon as they learned. Unfortunately, just before 18 weeks, a scan revealed some issues with one of the babies’ developments.
‘We had a follow-up scan at the hospital, and it was at that point that we knew we’d lost her. We were completely devastated and heartbroken.
That meant Kirsty had to endure the rest of her pregnancy knowing one of her babies was stillborn.
In October, Kirsty and John saw a consultant who looked at her brain in more detail and believed that there was a development issue, causing the baby to pass away.
Early on, Kirsty had joked that the babies looked like dots on their initial ultrasound scan, but after finding out they had lost one of the triplets, they looked back over the ultrasounds and were amazed at how much they’d changed over the weeks.
She named their angel baby Dotty from then on, mesmerized by how much more than dots they were.
Kirsty spent the months after Dotty’s death grieving, but she was also frightened of losing the baby again when she gave birth.
She revealed: ‘The whole time I carried her I felt like she was safe and close to me, but I knew once I gave birth, I would have to grieve all over again for her.’
Kirsty admits that going through infant loss or a miscarriage requires an underestimated level of strength, yet so many people suffer in silence.
Dotty, Delilah, and Wilfred were born March 6, 2019, at 36 weeks via cesarean section.
She explained:’The first few weeks were awful. I felt like I couldn’t leave the house because my anxiety spiraled and I was so terrified of something else happening to one of our survivors.’
‘I was advised to start trying to share my feelings and emotions, but I just didn’t feel strong enough to speak face to face about what happened.
‘That’s when I started using Instagram to share how I was feeling. It helped so much to let go of some of the fear, upset, and anger that I had bottled up.’
She added: ‘The strength of any parent who has experienced loss is phenomenal, but so many of them suffer in silence and don’t get the support they need and deserve.’
‘Talking really does help lift the weight of grief, but parents need support to feel like they can open up to get through what is the most heart-breaking experience.
‘Whether you’ve lost a baby at three weeks or 30 weeks, or you’ve lost a child that’s been born, you are entitled to feel upset.
‘Each one of those mums and dads is a mum and a dad, and even if it’s to an angel baby, they will always be a parent to their baby.’
